Desiring God’s Will: My Story.

The way I viewed marriage growing up in a non-Christian household was comforting: if something goes wrong, I can always get divorced. Later on in life, pursuing my American dream became more important to me than a dream to get married, like that most girls have. God had a different plan in mind. As I was chasing my dreams in NYC, the city of 8 million people that made me feel so empty and alone, Jesus saved me. He saved me from idolatry and gave me the desire to know and pursue Him. Marriage was still out of the picture; I felt too comfortable in my own independent world of self to ruin it. God had a different thing in mind. Again.

My faith grew through trials. After having trusted God as my Heavenly Father for a few years, I started wondering more about Jesus. Who was He as my Savior and Lord? It was the time when life decisions concerning my future had to be made. Tired and burdened by holding tight to my own will for all that time, I finally surrendered it to my Lord. Right after I did, I was tested. It’s as if God was saying “let’s see if you truly mean it”. For the first time in my life I was open to possibilities I had never considered before. I was willing to follow whenever the Lord would be leading me, and the proof of that was meeting my future husband. 

The desire for marriage came out of the blue. Being alone felt different this time around. Having enjoyed singleness for years, I suddenly was pretty confident that the Lord had a husband for me, because “it’s not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). It stuck in my head. I read the story of Isaac and Rebekah and started praying for my husband. I was convinced he had to come and get me. He had to be the initiator. And he was. I met my husband during Covid when we were living in different countries, separated by thousands of miles. I was open to whatever the Lord had for me, even if it meant moving to a country I would never even consider visiting. One year later, I married the man who did pursue me. I knew it was God’s will, because the peace that accompanied me along the way was evident. Today, when I look back, I remember desiring to be married because I wanted to be changed by marriage, without even understanding what that would look like. I just knew that whatever the Lord had to do with me to make me more like Jesus would be good, because it would be for His glory. I was seeking the Lord above all. As I have been married for a few years now, I know exactly who I am and why I need my Savior every day.

Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). As we face life circumstances, He changes our hearts so we would change our mind about certain things that are important for our sanctification. When we grow and desire to know Him above anything else, when he becomes all we need, that’s when He places His desires in our hearts - good desires that are contrary to our human ones. Self-serving and self-love become replaced by the desire to serve and love others. And while we remain sinners and the battle between the old us and the new us continues daily, Jesus makes sure He accomplishes His purposes in and through us. 

This is my story of desiring to please my Savior above all and receiving His good gift of marriage.

Your story might be different, but the Lord’s will is one for all.

Choosing Him alone and surrendering to His perfect will is the best decision you can ever make  🙌🏻.