“God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
You are wired to love. You were created by the God who IS LOVE. Furthermore, you are created to love and want to be loved. This is such a profound statement! It is something that makes no sense to those who do not know God. I hope you do.
We read the Bible and attend church every weekend. We serve and try to help others because we know that’s what a Christian should do. Yet, we lack self-control, we get angry and mad with those we say we love. We do good to others and expect something in return. We feel unloved because we don’t receive what we want to receive from others.
Why aren’t we happy as Christians when we are supposed to be so because of God’s love living in our hearts?
We are not happy because we are too distracted to abide in Christ and know what that love in Him is. We are too busy living our selfish lives, chasing our dreams, and following our fleshly desires. Too much of the noise of the world. Too much temptation and too little desire to truly know and obey the Lord.
We don’t feel loved because we don’t love the right way. We don't follow Jesus in the way He did because we care more about being loved rather than loving. And that kind of love never works. It fails. It never satisfies, but only leads us to frustration.
True love satisfies and brings contentment to the giver. It feels better when given than received.
We are not happy Christians because we ignore God’s Word, including what is says about love.
Love is much simpler than we think it is. It’s the core of the Gospel. It’s the essence of God, which is explained in only one Bible verse – John 3:16.
God so LOVED us, He GAVE… That's all we need to know about loving. The two words convey the whole meaning of love.
We know that God loves us because he gave us something. He gave us His Son. Voluntarily. He so loved us, that He sacrificed his Son for you to be able to do the same – to love others and to know that you are loved.
Where do expectations fit in here? God didn’t give mankind Jesus because it deserved it. In fact, we were all sinners and deserved nothing but death (Romans 3:23-25). We can’t earn God’s love because it’s not possible to do it by works (Ephesians 2:8-10).
Love was given to us freely, as a gift. And we were given a free will to either accept it or reject it. Love gives freedom. It gives us a choice. It is giving without expecting anything in return.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 we can see what’s behind the act of love which God committed towards us:
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
Love is all about freedom, which we must give to those we want to love. Therefore, expectations have no place in what we call love. We can give freely because we received freely.
We must acknowledge that we don't deserve to be loved, and yet, we are. With the same humility, we ought to love others for who they are, and not for what they do for us, just like God loved us first.
If you have been struggling with feeling loved because of your expectations, I want to encourage you to get serious about Jesus. Commit to studying His life and ministry. Learn about what made Jesus happy and content. As you do, pay close attention to how He loved people. All His character and his ways of treating others were examples of love we must emulate as Christians.
Was Jesus expecting something in return for healing the sick, feeding the hungry, preaching the Gospel? Did he expect people to love Him back? More than anything in the world, He wanted them to know and love the Father with all their hearts.
Jesus knew his purpose and kept his eyes fixed on Heaven. He felt loved. He was complete. His Father’s love was enough to get Him through His life and ministry, suffering and tragic death. He knew that sinful people would never be able to love Him with true love.
He didn’t waste his time and energy on false expectations.
If you are a true follower of Christ, you shouldn’t either.
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